There is one thing that will grow any relationship – communication! If arguing is your definition of communication between you and your significant other, then maybe therapy is the answer. Seriously though, communication entails active listening too, not just talking.
Now if you find that your evening routine is to take turns venting about work, time for a Valentine’s Day challenge. After 10 hours at work, it’s hard to switch off the work stress the second you walk in the door. So from here on until at least Feb 14, focus on reconnecting with your loved one. Sharing your emotions with someone who loves you is important for your health, but listening is vital.
A big issue at our jobs is that coworkers, bosses, and clients never listen. They only want to be heard. But you need to be listened to as well! Consider keeping tight lipped at home when it comes to work, and let your significant other vent this time. Be patient and truly listen – because all day they had to listen to everyone else’s problems at work. In every relationship, the key is to always think about the other person. Not you, you, you. Give 100% to them. Now if everyone’s goal is to give 100% in their relationship, then hopefully, the other person will keep this in mind and reciprocate too!
Appreciate each other, and remember to show it. Make it a point to compliment your significant other at least once a day. Even if you can’t help but let them know they made a mistake, just be careful in how you do it, and end with a compliment.
Your relationship will thrive if this occurs on a daily basis, turning a Valentine’s Day commitment into a daily routine. But if you’re still struggling after trying a few of these tips, you may want to consider seeing your primary care provider, and they can help you get a better handle on what’s contributing to stress in a relationship. Many times, anxiety, depression and stress can’t be dealt with communication and listening alone. We may be “married” to our jobs, so don’t bring work issues home.
Please feel free to “spread the love” and share or post this message to others (even your significant other ;).
Michael Corsilles, ND, PA-C
